The Fall of ‘69
It was the fall of 1969 and I was attending Arizona State University in Tempe as a philosophy undergrad. My high school girlfriend thought that is where we as a couple should attend. My parents were paying the bill and I was willing to give it a shot. That is why this fair skinned Iowa boy ended up under the (literally in my case) blistering Arizona sun. Not my worst decision but one, like all decisions, that changed my life. I had always been a student of the juxtaposition of thought and emotion. I was sitting in my Intro to Philosophy class (101) amongst 50 other students. I really did learn quite a bit (I won’t bore you with the details) but I mostly thought the classic western philosophy mega brains were pretty much self absorbed privileged humans. The one that took the cake was Descartes. His catchy phrase “I think therefore I am” even at the time was over the top for me. Does thinking entail cognition? Self-Awareness?? Does that phrase logically assume the superiority of privileged humans over the rest of creation? How about the deer that attempted suicide by car yesterday on my way into town?
In 1969, I thought a play on his words would fix the situation. “I Am Therefore I Can Think”. I still stand by them 55 years later. Apparently, all living things are aware of their own existence. When I attempt to swat a mosquito it dodges my attempt. It appears logical to me that that insect is aware that I am attempting to end its existence and wishes to avoid that. That to my mind points to “I am” transcending “thinking”. That bug is self aware. I don’t think that mosquitos do much “thinking”.
To bring this example to my favorite subject: the self-absorbed human currently at this keyboard.
I innately “Know” that I exist. This “knowing” transcends all aspects of my life and has none nor needs any proof, Mr. DesCartes. It has no relationship with any thought process taking place within my brain. People have referred to this “knowing” as the soul. I, personally, think that labeling it demeans it therefore I refrain from that, categorically. I prefer to say that I am a part of it all and leave it at that.
Now to the reason for this post. I co-exist with my brain. It is separate from “Me”. It can be a very adversarial relationship at least from my part. My brain can kill me and extinguish “Me”. Does extinguishing “Me” send me to that which I am a part of? It is not for me to ever know. It is not for me even to request. My brain appears to go on about its merry way, doing whatever it pleases with me with no regard for what I wish. I find this highly annoying. And I resist.
